Jalapeño Popper Dip

If you like jalapeño poppers, you’ll like this jalapeño popper dip served with veggies, crackers, chips or bread for dipping.

1 (8 oz.) pkg. cream cheese, softened
1/3 c mayonnaise
1/3 c sour cream
1 tsp. garlic powder
3 jalapeños, minced and divided
3 c shredded Colby Jack cheese, divided

Combine cream cheese, mayonnaise, sour cream, garlic powder, 1/3 of the minced jalapeños, and 2 cups of the cheese. Mix thoroughly and transfer to a cast iron pan. Top with remaining jalapeños and cheese. Preheat grill to medium-high heat. Once grill is hot, place cast iron pan on grill and cook dip for 10 to 15 minutes. Serve hot.

Keep your fork

Identity Protection – Number 6 in a Series – If You Lost Your Driver’s License

• Report a lost or stolen driver’s license – Consider reporting it to the police as soon as it happens to prevent someone from using your identity.
• Make an appointment with the DMV – If you’re able to take time off work to make a walk-in visit during the week, go with that option to take care of it as soon as possible. Some states do allow you to apply for a replacement over mail or online under certain requirements. Check the site (https://www.dmv.org/replace-license.php) to see which rules apply to where you live.
• Bring all necessary documents – DMV will typically require the same documents you presented for proof of identification and residency when first applying for a license.

Keep your fork

Uncle Clarence

A couple arrived at a town hall seconds before closing time and caught Uncle Clarence, the judge, just as he was about to leave, and asked him to marry them.

Uncle Clarence asked if they had a license and, when they didn’t, sent them off to get one. They caught the town clerk just as he was locking up, and got the license from him.

When they got back to Uncle Clarence, he pointed out they had filled the names in backwards – his where hers belonged and vice versa. They rushed back to the clerk’s office, caught him again, and got another license.

This time, Uncle Clarence noticed that the clerk had filled in the date in the wrong format.

Again they caught the clerk. After five reissued licenses, Uncle Clarence is finally satisfied and says to the couple, “I hope you appreciate why I made you keep going back. If there are irregularities in the license, your marriage would not be legal, and any children you might have would be technical bastards.”

“That’s funny,” said the groom, “that’s just what the clerk called you.”

Keep your fork

Rhubarb Snack Cake

A snack cake can be described as an easy, 1-pan cake which is typically unfrosted that can be whisked together either by hand or with a hand-held mixer in under 20 minutes. All of the ingredients in a snack cake can be found in the average household’s pantry, and can be eaten for breakfast, as a dessert or anytime in between. You can dress this cake either up or down simply by arranging the rhubarb differently atop of the cake.

12 ounces rhubarb, sliced vertically if the stalks are thick
1 c brown sugar
2 large eggs
1/3 c sour cream
4 Tbsp. unsalted butter, melted
½ tsp. almond extract
1 c flour
½ tsp. baking powder
½ tsp., salt
½ tsp. cinnamon
Zest of 1 orange

Preheat oven to 350º F. Butter and flour a 9-inch springform pan. In a medium bowl, whisk together dry ingredients and set aside. In a large mixing bowl, whisk together brown sugar and eggs until light and fluffy. Whisk in sour cream, melted butter, almond extract and orange zest. Fold in dry ingredients; do not overmix, as this will lead to a tough cake. Spread batter into springform pan and arrange rhubarb on top. Bake 35 to 45 minutes, until cake is golden brown and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out free of batter.

Keep your fork

Identity Protection – Number 5 in a Series – If You Have Experienced Identity Theft

• Contact one of the major nationwide consumer reporting agencies and request that a fraud alert be placed on your reports (see below for contact information). Placing this alert on your credit report requires creditors to follow stricter procedures before they open new accounts in your name or make changes to existing accounts. Please note that it is only necessary to contact one of the credit reporting agencies below. Once you’ve submitted the alert, the credit reporting agency you have filed the report with will immediately notify the other two.
• Equifax – 1 (800) 525-6285
• TransUnion – 1 (800) 680-7289
• Experian – 1 (800) EXPERIAN
• Review your credit reports for any fraudulent credit accounts. Contact the fraud department of each company where a credit account was created and ask that the account be immediately closed and that it is fraudulent. Creditors will likely require a request in writing.
• File a Complaint Assistant Form (http://www.ftcomplaintassistant.gov/) with the Federal Trade Commision.
• Be sure to follow up with creditors frequently to ensure that the accounts are closed and fraudulent debts discharged.
• File a police report in case creditors require further proof that fraud has been committed.
• Be sure to document all communications between you, creditors, and consumer reporting agencies.

Keep your fork

Three Good Arguments

There were three good arguments that Jesus was black:

1. He called everyone brother.
2. He liked gospel.
3. He didn’t get a fair trial.

But there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into his father’s business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his mother was a virgin and his mother was sure He was God.

But there were three good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.

But there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

But there were three good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.

But there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all – three proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment’s notice when there was virtually no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn’t get it.
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do.

Keep your fork

Jalapeño Mustard

Here is an easy way to make a jalapeño mustard to enjoy with grilled meats or french fries if you like things hot.

1 sprig fresh rosemary
8 Tbsp. Dijon mustard
1 fresh jalapeño, seeded and diced
Juice of 1 lemon

Strip the rosemary leaves from the stem. Chop the leaves and discard the stem. Combine the rosemary with the other three ingredients.

Keep your fork

Identity Protection – #4 in a Series – Protecting Your Information While Traveling

• Guard your devices. Your devices are valuable, but your sensitive information is as well. Always keep your devices close at hand and secure in taxis, security checkpoints, airplanes, rental homes, and hotel rooms.
• Securely recharge. Never plug your phone into a USB public charging station, such as those in the airport, hotel room lamp, or clock radio inputs, as these cannot be trusted. Malicious individuals can hijack your session or install malware on your device through those seemingly-harmless means. Always connect using your power adapter connected to a power outlet.
• Delete data from your rental car. If you connect your phone to a rental vehicle, remove the device so that other individuals do not have access to your address book, device name, text messages (hands free calling), or additional sensitive information.
• Avoid public Wi-Fi. While public networks are convenient, they are a security risk. Avoid connecting to public Wi-Fi unless necessary. Instead consider using your phone carrier’s internet connection or your phone as a personal hotspot if your plan allows. If you need to connect to public Wi-Fi, verify with the establishment the name of the network and use a virtual private network (VPN), software that will encrypt internet traffic and prevent others from stealing your data. Verifying the network name is essential as malicious individuals often create similar connection points with a slight misspelling, hoping you will connect to their network instead.
• Turn off auto-connect. Disable auto-connect, Bluetooth connectivity, and near field communication (NFC), like airdrop, so you can select the network and control the connection. While auto-connect is enabled, devices will seek out and connect to available networks or Bluetooth devices, allowing the cuber criminals to access your device without you knowing it.
• Limit what you share. Limit the information you share on social media while on vacation. Consider posting updates about your trip after you return; revealing too much information while away can put you and others at risk. Criminals can gain helpful information from such posts, like knowing you are away from home. Scammers may even attempt to contact your family and friends with various scam tactics. Additionally, consider setting your social media accounts to only allow friends to view your posts.
• Avoid the use of public computers. Public computers such as hotel business centers and internet cafes are often poorly managed and provide minimal user security protection. If you must use a shared computer, do not enter any username or password on the computer, and do not connect or transfer data via thumb drive/USB.

Keep your fork

Court Rulings

When, or is it “if”, the Supreme Court forces Trump to disclose his taxes, it will be a good thing that finally comes from one of their rulings.

We’ll finally learn if having teenage hookers pee on your face is claimed as entertainment expense or medical.

(If you don’t like that one – how about this one?)

BREAKING NEWS: Supreme Court has ruled that basic intelligence tests for election voting is discriminatory.

Their opinion was that it is unfair to block all Republicans from voting.

Keep your fork

 

Chocolate Marshmallow Bars

Here is a delicious and easy to make cookie/bar recipe.

7 Tbsp. butter, softened
½ c evaporated cane juice
½ c brown sugar, packed
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. baking soda
½ tsp. salt
¾ c walnuts, chopped
1½ c mini semi-sweet chocolate chips
1½ c micro marshmallows
2¼ c flour

Combine sugars with butter until creamy. Beat in eggs and vanilla. Gradually add flour, soda and salt. Stir in nuts, chocolate chips and marshmallows. Spread on a greased 10×15-inch cookie sheet. Bake at 375º for 20 minutes.

Keep your fork