Extreme Remedies

Seeing people using Ivermectin for Covid-19 instead of a horse dewormer seems to be beyond belief. But, if you look back at history, people used radical remedies to cure their sniffles, aches and pains. Her are a few example of such remedies. DO NOT try these at home!

  • Smearing goose grease on your chest and wrapping it with flannel. (Mom globbed Vicks on us.)
  • Rubbing the soles of your feet with tallow and turpentine, and holding them against the wood stove.
  • Getting passed under the belly of a horse three times.
  • Tying a fish shin to your feet.
  • Cupping followed by blood letting. (I use cupping, but haven’t resorted to blood letting.)
  • Going to bed wearing a pair of cold, wet socks with a pair of thick, dry socks on top.
  • Stuffing your nostrils with cut garlic cloves.
  • Pressing a warm, peeled hard-boiled egg to your forehead.
  • Eating snakeskin.
  • Putting a drop of your urine on a sty. (Grandma swore by this.)
  • Having warm smoke blown into your ear. (Been there, had that done to me.)
  • Cut a chicken in half and put one part against the sole of each foot.
  • Rub a person’s back against a tree where a hog has rubbed itself.
  • Wash sore eyes in a mule trough.
  • Sit in a henhouse for an hour.
  • Take off your right sock at night and while its still warm, tie it around your neck. Let it remain there all night.
  • Pick up a rock, spit under it, and put it back where it was.

Keep your fork

Squash Apple Casserole

This is an easy to make and delicious to eat Squash Apple Casserole or Hot Dish for those of you of Scandinavian descent.

2½ c any fresh winter squash, cut into 1-inch chunks
1½ c tart cooking apples, peeled and cut into think slices
¼ c butter, melted
¼ c brown sugar
1 tsp. cinnamon
½ c pecans, chopped
Dash salt

Arrange a layer of half squash chunks and apple slices in a 2 quart casserole dish. Drizzle half of the melted butter over them. In a saucepan combine remaining butter, brown sugar, cinnamon, nuts, and salt. Arrange remaining squash and apples in dish and pour butter-sugar mixture over them. Cover dish and bake in 350º F. preheated oven 45 to 60 minutes, till squash and apples are tender. Serve with thick cream to make this dish even more delicious.

Keep your fork

Father’s Ashes!

A guy goes to a girl’s home for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to get some snacks and drinks.

As he’s standing there alone, he lights a cigarette. After a while, he notices a cute little vase on the mantle. He picks it up, and as he’s looking at it, she walks back in.

He says, “What’s this?”

She says, “Oh, my father’s ashes are in there.”

He turns beet red in horror and says, “Oh God no… Oh!!! I just….”

She replies, “Yeah, he’s too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray.”

Keep your fork

Diabetes Screening

There has been a lot in the news lately where non-diabetics have been using glucose blood testing to see how various foods affect them. All well and good with that process, I guess, but when should men and women be screened for diabetes? Here’s what is recommended for various age groups according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

  • Ages 18 to 39 – Get screened for diabetes if your blood pressure is higher than 135/80 or if you take medicine for high blood pressure.
  • Ages 40 to 49 – Get screened for diabetes if your blood pressure is higher than 135/80 or if you take medicine for high blood pressure.
  • Ages 50 to 64 – Get screened for diabetes if your blood pressure is higher than 135/80 or if you take medicine for high blood pressure.
  • Ages 65 and over – Get screen for diabetes if you blood pressure is higher than 135/80 or if you take medicine for high blood pressure.

Keep your fork

BLT Salad

Tired of the ole BLT sandwich and wish there was another way of enjoying the three ingredients? Here tis:

1 head lettuce. washed and chopped
10 slices bacon, fried/drained and crumbled
4 hard boiled eggs, chopped
1½ c tomatoes, seeded and chopped
1 c cheddar cheese, shredded
2 c croutons

Dressing
½ c sugar
1 c mayonnaise
1 tsp. prepared mustard
1 Tbsp. cider vinegar
1 Tbsp. milk

Toss the lettuce, bacon, eggs, tomatoes, cheese and croutons together in a large bowl. In a small bowl, mix the dressing ingredients together. Pour the dressing over the salad when ready to serve, tossing well.

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The One That Got Away

A fisherman’s wife gives birth to a healthy set of twin boys.

Expecting to have a daughter, the couple did not have a girl’s name picked out. After some time, they noticed that one of the boys always faces toward the ocean and the other always faces away, Even if the parents were to turn them, they would always reposition themselves. So they name the boys “Toward” and Away” respectively. 

On the twins’ tenth birthday, the fisherman takes them on a fishing trip. He tells his wife that they will be back in a week. A week passes. Then a month. Then two. Three months pass with no word, and the wife begins to lose hope. However, one day, she saw two figures approaching from the horizon, dragging the biggest fish she’d even seen. She runs up to her husband and child and says, “Wow! That fish is gigantic!”

The fisherman says, Well, it’s actually a funny story. We spent a week at sea, with no luck. However, on the last day, this beast jumped up on the deck and ate Toward whole! For three months  I fought the fish, until eventually I was able to defeat it and cut Toward free.”

“That’s amazing!”, the wife says to her son, but where’s your brother?”

The fisherman interrupts and says, “Well, if you think this guy is big, you should have seen the one that got Away!”

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Teens and Macronutrients

If your teen is eating healthy, (s)he should be naturally consuming enough macronutrients (carbohydrates, fats, and protein) . The Acceptable Macronutrient Distribution Range (AMDR) for macronutrients for teens are as follows:

  • Carbohydrate — 45 to 65 percent of total calories
  • Protein 10 to 30 percent of total calories (The Recommended Dietary Allowance [RDA] level, a minimum recommended amount, is 46 grams daily for girls aged 14 to 18 and 52 grams daily for boys of that age.
  • Dietary fat 25 to 35 percent of total calories

Teens are advised to limit saturated and trans fats (solid fats) and added sugar. Most teens also need to consume significantly more fiber.

Keep your fork

Potato Puffs

Running short on ways to fix potatoes? Here’s an Amish way of putting a dozen spuds on the table, which doesn’t go very far in most families.

1 c mashed potatoes
2 eggs, beaten
¼ tsp. salt
1/3 c flour
1 tsp. baking powder
shortening

Combine all ingredients except the shortening. Deep fry, using 1 large tsp. of potato mixture per puff, to a golden brown in hot shortening.

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Three Friends and Their Mothers

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all friends.

Naturally, their mothers are blonde, brunette, and redhead as well, and the ladies are chatting while their teenage daughters are hanging out in the other room.

The brunette says with a devilish grin, “Hey, lets look through the girls’ purses and see what they’re hiding from us.” She grabs her daughter’s purse, rifles through it for a moment, and pulls out a lighter. “Wow,” she says. “Looks like my Beth has been smoking cigarettes behind my back.”

Her curiosity piqued, the redhead pulls her daughter’s purse onto her lap, digs through the items and reveals a bottle opener. “For crying out loud,” she blurts, disappointed. “Sue has been drinking, just like her good for nothing daddy!”

The blonde mother, feeling obliged to follow suit, picks up her daughter’s purse, thrusts her hands in and fishes out a box of condoms, “Oh my God,” she utters with a blank expression followed by a breathless pause, “Debbie has a penis!”

Keep your fork