Spam Mail

I grew up in a postal family. My Grandpa was a rural mail carrier for well over 40 years and my Dad was his sub until Dad became postmaster in the early 1960’s. I was always told that there was no such thing as junk mail. When we’d complain about “Junk” mail, Dad would always tell us that it was that mail that kept the cost first class postage down. He also told us that the USPS missed the boat when email on the computer started and they didn’t jump on the ship. Well, email had other ideas about junk mail and has “Spam” where the junk is automatically sorted out for you. These two ways of thinking are in direct conflict in my thinking. With this in mind I took another look at Spam Mail.

I can do away with all my doctor appointments. I can: Restore Your Blood Pressure in 7 Days; Reverse your Type 2 diabetes with our FREE offer; PERFECT your Vision to 20/20 for Free; get A Natural Supplement For Sufferers of Fibromyalgia; Lose 27 Pounds in 1 Month With This 1 trick; We have everything that you need to forget about all health problems you might have; Save up to 50% on Preventative Health Screenings; or get $250 Bosley Gift certificate for free Consultation (evidently they haven’t seen the length of my hair).

I can: Try RISK-FREE All Natural Cannabis E-liquid; Find Sex Partners in my Area for FREE!; get a Free Quote to Reduce my utility bills by 80 percent; Learn Counseling; talk with Asian Hotties; talk with Svetlana, a Russian Bride; Get $50,000 in life insurance for $1.00; find out why thousands of people are retiring in Belize; Try E-cigarettes for free; Get burial insurance for only $5.00 a month; Get $10,000 deposited in my account overnight; and hundreds of other deals to numerous to mention.

The one that really interests me is the FREE TRIAL where I can gain up to 3 inches permanently. The doctors offices can’t agree on how tall I am right now. One has me at 6’2″, one at 6’3″, and the third at 6’5″.  With 3 more inches that would make me anywhere from 6’5″ to 6’8″.  I can either consider coming out of retirement and play basketball or staying retired and just buying longer jeans. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

Keep your fork

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