A Day Out

On Wednesday we were up to Fayetteville, PA to the antique mall. We stopped at Burger King on the way back to feast on their reconstituted/reconstructed/regurgitated $1.49 for a limited time only chicken nuggets. The place was full as it was a beautiful day and every elderly couple in the country must have been out for the day.

We had just started to eat when we noticed a lady about our age looking for a seat. We motioned her over and asked her to join us. Like most people, to get conversation going, I started talking about the weather. She said that she was down from Boston and was marveling at the lack of snow. She continued on saying that her husband had passed and she was considering moving out of the snow and was looking for a community to relocate to. I said, “I’m sorry to hear that.”  She replied, “You needn’t be.” She seemed to want to talk about it so I asked why.

“Doug, that’s was my husband’s name, was on his death bed and knew that the end was near,” she said. “His nurse, myself, our daughter and our two sons were with him. He asked for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his wishes,” she continued. “When all was ready, he said ‘My son, Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses.’ ‘My daughter, Sybil, you take the apartments in the east end.’ ‘My son, Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Center.’ ‘Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks of the river.’ and then he quietly passed away.” she said and then paused.

I thought to myself, wow, that guy was loaded! I wonder what the nurse and witnesses thought.  After a short pause, she continued, “The nurse said, ‘Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property’.”

She concluded this part of our conversation by saying, “I said, Property! ?…. The b*****d had a paper route!”

Keep your fork

Pemmican

Pemmican is a mixture of fat and protein at about a 1 to 1 ratio used as a nutritious, high-energy food. There are at least two modern protein bar manufacturers in the United States that make the traditional meat, fat and fruit type of bar.  Native North American people, European fur traders along with both Arctic and Antarctic explorers adopted this food as a staple in their everyday lives.

The best pemmican is made from the dried, powdered meat. It can be used with lard, bear fat, goose fat, or moose fat. Smoke the dried meat. Pound it and make a nice powder. Mix like a batter. Some people like to add berries and sugar. In winter, put it outside to freeze. Keep it frozen. In the summer, make it more like a dough and cover it. It keeps well for a long time. Pemmican is used, especially in the winter, by trappers when they walk all day and want to travel light. A piece the size of a date square is enough for a meal. It is good with a cup of tea.

Keep your fork

Sourdough Muffins #1

Set your sponge as for hotcakes in mixing bowl the night before you want to use it. When ready for baking take out your one cup for next STARTER.

Mix together and stir into your overnight sponge:

2 eggs
1/2 c. cooking oil or soft shortening

Then sift into the above mixture:

1-1/2 c. whole wheat flour
1/2 c. of non-fat dried milk
1/2 c. sugar
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking soda
1 c. raisins or chopped dates

and stir just enough to moisten the flour. Fill greased muffin tins about 3/4 full and bake at 375 degrees F. for about 35 min. or until baked. Yield – about 1 dozen

Keep your fork

Hill Talk

We’ve been out here a little over three years and I’ve finally caught on to some of the language of the hills. For instance:

Mushroom – When all the family get in the car, there is not “mushroom” left.

Wheelchair – We only got a small possum for vittles, but don’t worry “wheelchair”.

Budweiser – She’s a good lookin’ huntin’ dog, “Budweiser” tail so short?

Bishop – I had my dog spayed and now I’ve got to pick the “Bishop”.

Cheese – “Cheese” a good dog now that “cheese” fixed.

Cheeses – “Cheeses” it’s cold out today.

Bodywash – I wanted to go out dancin’ tonight but no “bodywash” my kids.

Herpes – My fried and I ordered pizza. I got my piece and she got “herpes”.

Chicken –  My wife wanted me to go to the store but “chicken” go herself.

Keep your fork

VIN Number Warning

I received this from a reliable source on Sunday and it makes sense to me so decided to pass it along for what it’s worth.

“Here is INFO worth the price of your car. What will the car thieves think of next?

The car thieves peer through the windshield of your car or vehicle, write down the the VIN# from the label on the dash, go to the local car dealership and request a duplicate key based on the VIN#.

I didn’t believe this e-mail, so I called Chrysler-Dodge and pretended I had lost my keys. They told me to just bring in the VIN#, and they would cut me a new one on the spot, and I could order the keyless device if I wanted.

The car dealer’s part department will make a duplicate key from the VIN#, and collect payment from the thief who will return to your car. He doesn’t have to break in, do any damage to the vehicle, or draw attention to himself. All he has to do is walk up to your car, insert the key and off he goes to a local chop shop with your vehicle.

You don’t believe it? It IS that EASY.

To avoid this from happening to you, simply put some dark tape (electrical tape, duct tape or medical tape) across the VIN Number Metal Label located on the dashboard. By law, you cannot remove the VIN, but you CAN cover it up so it can’t be viewed through the windshield by a thief.

I urge you to forward this to your friends before some other car thief steals another car or truck. I slipped a 3×5 card over my VIN Number. ”

I never checked this out, but as I said, it makes sense to me.

Keep your fork

Sourdough-Whole Wheat Hotcakes, Pancakes

MAKE A SEPARATE STARTER FOR THE FOLLOWING AS YOU CANNOT TAKE OFF THE ONE CUP TO ADD TO YOUR BASIC STARTER, AS THIS WOULD SPOIL IT.

STARTER:

Mix together
1 c. whole wheat flour
1 c. warm water
1 pkg. yeast

Let stand for about 12 hrs. in a warm room covered with wax paper or plastic. Then carry on as for white flour pancakes. (See Sourdough Hotcakes – Pancakes) Your batter for whole wheat pancakes may be on the thick side, if so, it can be thinned with extra warm milk. Batter for pancakes should then be thin.

WHEAT GERM: Substitute 1 c. of wheat germ for 1 c. of flour in the basic recipe.

OATMEAL: Substitute 1 c. of oat meal for 1 c. of flour in the basic recipe

CORNMEAL: Substitute 1/2 c. of yellow cornmeal for 1/2 c. flour in the basic recipe. These will be crispy and crunchy.

Keep your fork

Will Rogers’ Wisdom

Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash, was one of the greatest political sages this country has ever know. Most of us, at least those that I know, have probably heard one of his most famous sayings, “Never squat with your spurs on”. Here is more of his wisdom. Enjoy !

1. Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.

2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither work.

4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5. Always drink upstream from the herd.

6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.

8. There are three kind of men:
The ones that learn by reading.
The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

9. Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

10. If you’re riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.

11. Lettin’ the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.

12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

About growing older…

First – Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Second – The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Third – Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know ‘why’ I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren’t paved.

Fourth – When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of algebra.

Fifth – You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

Sixth – I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

Seventh – One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it’s such a nice change from being young.

Eighth – One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Ninth – Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Tenth – Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.

And finally – If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you’re old.

Keep your fork