I was talking to Snoozle the other day and he told me about his nephew, Swilly, who’s a graduate of the University of Alabama.
It seems that Swilly was halfway through the first semester of his Junior year and had foolishly squandered all his money so he called home.
“Dad,” he said, “You won’t believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Alabama that will teach our dog, Ole’ Blue, how to talk!”
“That’s amazing,” Snoozle’s brother said. “How do I get Ole’ Blue in that program?”
“Just send him down here with $1,000”, Swilly said, “and I’ll get him in the course.”
So, his dad sent the dog and $1,000.
About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money ran out. So, Swilly called home again.
“How’s Ole’ Blue doing son?” his dad asked.
“Awesome, Dad, he’s talking up a storm,” Swilly said, “but you just won’t believe this — they’ve had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!”
“Read?” said his father, “No kidding! How do we get Ole’ Blue in that program?”
“Just send $2,500, I’ll get him in the class.” Swilly said. The money promptly arrived. But our hero knew he had a problem. At the end of the year, his dad would find out the dog can neither talk, nor read.
So, he shot the dog.
When he arrived home at the end of the year, his father was all excited.
“Where’s Ole’ Blue? I just can’t wait to see him read something and talk!” his Dad said.
“Dad”, Swilly said, “I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole’ Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually did”.
“Then Ole’ Blue turned to me and asked, so, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives over in the next hollow?” Swilly added.
His father went white and exclaimed, “I hope you shot that lying SOB before he had a chance to talk to your Mother!”
“I sure did, Dad!” Swilly said.
“That’s my boy!” Snoozle’s brother said.
The kid went on to law school and now serves in Washington D.C. as a Congressman.
Keep your fork