The Nazi Clock Torture

Family Feud is still on GSN (Game Show Network) with Steve Harvey as host. Past hosts that can still be seen on old episodes include John O’Hurley and Richard Karn.  Richard Dawson, one of the stars of Hogan’s Heroes, was a long time host of Family Feud who is still talked about today. Hogan’s Heroes, if you remember, was a show about Allied soldiers in a German POW camp. Here is a situation that was not shown, but would have been used if I was in charge of writing for the show.

In a German POW Camp (Stalag 13) during World War II, Commandant Klink is using various psychological tortures on the prisoners to break their spirits over time. One day, he comes up with a task so boring, so repetitive, that he knows he will drive them absolutely crazy in a very short amount of time.

“Men,” he tells the assembled prisoners, “today you vill stand zere perfectly still and you will keep time for me. You vill tilt your head to the left and say ‘Tic’ and zen to ze right and say ‘Toc.’ You vill do zis until I tell you to stop!”

Walking amoung the rows, he notices that all the men are doing as he says, tilting their heads left and saying “Tic,” and then to the right while saying “Toc.” He continues to wander through their ranks, very amused and impressed with himself for devising such a fiendishly stupid, yet wonderfully effective, torture. All the men are following his orders except for one: Colonel Hogan, who is only tilting his head to the left, over and over, saying “Tic” each time.

“Vell, Colonel Hogan,” Klink says to him, “you are a brave and defiant man. But as you know, ve have vays of making you “Toc.”

Keep your fork


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