The Missing Music

It was a couple of slow evenings this week for survival/Alaskan/travel/cooking shows, so ended up watching a special on high brow music. The show reminded me of the following story.

During the intermission of a performance of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, the conductor grabs his assistant in a panic and tells him that he has noticed that the last few pages of his sheet music are missing. After a few moments of thinking, the assistant realizes that the missing pages were accidentally locked in the storage room. he assures the conductor that by the time they are needed, they’ll be on the conductor’s music stand.

“They’d better be,” says the conductor. “And didn’t I tell you to watch the bass players? I see that they’re over in the corner, drinking again.” With that, he heads back to the stage.

The assistant goes over to the bass players, and pours enough coffee down their throats to get them back to their seats in the orchestra. As the curtain rises for the rest of the symphony, he goes looking for the security guard, who can open the storage room.

With no time to spare, he finds the guard and hurries him to the locked room.

“What’s all the panic about?” asks the guard.

“Well,” says the assistant, “it’s the bottom of the ninth, the score is tied, and the bassists are loaded!”

Keep your fork

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