Supply Problems

Back in the ‘Good Old Days’ transportation and getting supplies into western towns was a real problem. Hers’s an example from a pioneer newspaper in Colorado when they did not get their type setting letters.

“We begin publication with some phew diphphiculties in the way. The type phounder phrom whom we bought our outphit phor this printing ophphice phailed to supply us with any ephs or cays, and it will be phour or phive weexs bephore we can get any. The mistaque wasn’t phound out till a day or two ago. We don’t lique the loox ov this variety ov spelling any better than our readers, but mistax will happen in the best regulated phamilies. It is no joque to us – it’s a serious aphphair.”

Keep your fork

Bean Soup

With cold weather setting in, it’s time to start thinking about what kind of soup to serve for supper. Here’s a recipe you can put together in the morning and it will be ready for eating when you are.

4  15.5 oz. cans of Great Northern Beans, drained and rinsed
4 c. chicken broth
2 c. cooked ham, diced (not smoked)
2 c. water
3/4 c. grated carrot
1 Tbsp. finely chopped celery
1/4 tsp. dried minced onion
1/2 tsp. minced garlic
1-1/2 tsp. chili powder
1 tsp. minced fresh parsley
1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper
2 or more drops Tabasco sauce
1 bay leaf

Combine all ingredients into a slow cooker or stoneware cooking pot. Cover and cook on low for 5 to 8 hours. Remove bay leaf before serving. You may use the plain Great Northern Beans or for a kicked up version, use Bush’s Chili Beans which come in varying strengths. These chili beans are Great Northern Beans that have been hopped up.

Keep your fork

God’s Plan for Aging

Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw that there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach and stretch. Again God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors should have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. Once again God looked down and saw that it was good.

So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it’s God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.

Here are nine important facts to remember as we grow older.

#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

#8 Life is sexually transmitted.

#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2 In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.

Keep your fork

Turkey Cranberry Sandwich

If your refrigerator looks anything like ours does on Thanksgiving night you are wondering how you’re going to use all the leftovers. For a little twist, try re-heating the mashed potatoes and gravy along with the dressing or stuffing and making a turkey cranberry sandwich. Increase the proportions as needed.

2 slices of bread
2 Tbsp. cream cheese, softened
2 Tbsp. cranberry sauce or cranberry relish
1 Tbsp. mayonnaise (optional)
2 slices cooked turkey or a bunch of picked off pieces
salt & pepper
1 lettuce leaf

You could either lightly toast both slices of bread before proceeding with construction of the sandwich or grill the sandwich once completed. Spread the cream cheese on both bread slices. Add the mayonnaise if so inclined. Spread the cranberry sauce/relish on both slices. Place the turkey slices/pieces on one slice of the bread/toast and season with salt and pepper. Place the lettuce leaf on the other slice of bread/toast and put the two slices of bread/toast together. If you don’t like the order of stacking, do it your way. Sever the sandwich diagonally to make it easier to insert the pointy end in your mouth.

Keep your fork

Feeling My Age

For some reason or other I’m feeling my age today. In fact, I hurt in places that I didn’t even know I had. Even with all my aches and pains, these stories come to mind.

  • I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
  • It’s scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
  • An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. “Wal-Mart,” the preacher exclaimed. “Why Wal-Mart?”  “Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week,” she said.
  • My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
  • These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, “For fast relief.”
  • Just before the funeral service, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, “How old was your husband?” “98,” she replied, “Two years older than me.” “So, you’re 96,” the undertaker commented. She responded, “Hardly worth going home, is it?”

Keep your fork

Consider These

Someone once said that nothing is impossible. They didn’t try these three things.

1) You can’t count your hair.
2) You can’t wash your eyes with soap.
3) You can’t breath through your nose when your tongue is out.
Put your tongue back in your mouth, you silly person.

Some of you readers I know personally. Others I don’t. But, these things I know about all of you.

1) You are reading this.
2) You are human.
3) You can’t say the letter “P” without moving your lips.
4) You just attempted to do it.
6) You are laughing at yourself.
7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.
8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.
9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person and everyone does it too.
10) You are probably going to send this on to see who else falls for it.

Keep your fork