The Earless Interviewer

Three men are applying for the same job in a detective agency that only handles the very delicate matters of wealthy, refined clients. Nervously, they wait in the reception area until, one at a time, they are led into the office of the agency’s CEO.

“Good morning,” the CEO says to the first applicant. “You did very well on the written test, but it’s of considerably more importance to us to see how you are at observing things. Look at me very closely, take a moment to collect your thoughts, and tell me what you notice.”

“You don’t have no frickin’ ears,” the man says immediately, and indeed the CEO doesn’t.

The CEO shakes his head. “I see you go straight for the obvious, and you are a crude man. Neither of those traits will do in an agency of our stature. Thank you for your time. Good day, sir.”

With that, the first man leaves and the second man is shown in. The CEO says to him, “”You are a marvelous physical specimen and I’m sure our clients would be most pleased to have you around not only for detection but also for protection. Still, it’s most important to us that you have a well-developed sense of observation. So, look at me very closely, take a moment to collect your thoughts and tell me what you notice.”

“Well, first off,” the second man says, “I see you got no frickin’ ears.”

“Oh dear,” the CEO says, “just like the last man in this room, you are vulgar and have an overly keen grasp of the obvious. Unfortunately, you are not right for this job. Thank you for your time. Good day, sir.”

As the second man is leaving, he decides to help out the third man, who has yet not been shown in. “Be polite,” he whispers in the third man’s ear, ” and when he asks you a question, don’t go for the obvious stuff.”

The third man is shown into the office, and the CEO says, “Well, it’s been a disappointing day. The first candidate, who was the smartest I’ve seen, failed my test of observation. So did the second applicant, who was the most physically fit. If you pass the test, the job is yours. I’d like for you to look at me very closely, take a moment to collect your thoughts, and tell me what you notice.”

The third man looks very close for a moment, and says, “I see you wear contacts.”

The CEO beams. “That’s excellent! You took your time, and made an observation that was not obvious; you have the job if you want it. But tell me please, how did you deduce that I wear contacts?”

“Easy,” says the third man. “Where the Hell would you rest your glasses?”

Keep your fork

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