The Mormon Sex Talk

A young Jewish man is nervous about offending his father-in-law-to-be, who is a Mormon. The night before the wedding, he goes to speak with the old man. “Sir,” he says, “out of respect for you and your beliefs, and because I am not familiar with any type of Christianity, I wanted to ask you a few questions about what you expect of me.”

“You honor me,” the old man says. “Please ask.”

“Well, I don’t want to be indelicate,” the young man says, “but we will be allowed to consummate this marriage?”

The old man laughs. “Of course, my son.”

“Should we wait a certain period of time?” he asks, still nervous.

“Tomorrow is your wedding day. If I were you, I would consummate my marriage tomorrow night!” the old man exclaims.

A little relaxed, the young man presses on. “Should I be on top?”

“If that is what you want.” the old man replies.

“Could she be on top?” the young man then asks.

The old man replies, “Of course she can.”

The young man continues, “Can we do it standing up?”

“No,” the old man replies, “that I must forbid.”

“But, why?” the young man asks.

“Because, my son, that could lead to dancing.” was the old man’s reply.

 

Keep your fork

 

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