Great truths about growing old:
- Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
- Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
- When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
- You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
- It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
- Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
- Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
The four stages of life:
- You believe in Santa Claus.
- You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
- You are Santa Claus.
- You look like Santa Claus.
- At age 4 success is ….. Not piddling in your pants.
- At age 12 success is ….Having friends.
- At age 17 success is ….Having a driver’s license.
- At age 35 success is ….Having money.
- At age 50 success is ….Having money.
- At age 70 success is ….Having a driver’s license.
- At age 75 success is …. Having friends.
- At age 80 success is ….Not piddling in your pants.
Keep your fork