Changing Doctors

I once heard that one should not only change their socks and shorts every couple of years but should also change their primary care physician as well. When we moved out here a couple of years back I was forced to seek a new doctor. Not only did I find a primary care physician, I also found a nephrologist, a rheumatologist, and a ophthalmologist.

I forget which doctor it was that I had this conversation with but after two visits and exhaustive lab tests, this is how it went when the doctor entered the exam room.

Me: “Well, doc, how am I doing?”

Doctor: “Fairly well, for a man of your age and condition.”

Me: “That comment concerns me. Do you think I’ll live to be 80?”

Doctor: “Well, do you smoke, chew or drink beer?”

Me: “Oh, no, I’ve never done any of those.”

Doctor: “Do you eat rib-eye steaks or bar-b-qued ribs?”

Me: “No, I’ve heard that all red meat is very unhealthful?”

Doctor: “Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf?”

Me: “No, I don’t.”

Doctor: “Do you gamble or drive fast cars?”

Me: “I wouldn’t think of doing either.”

Doctor: “Do you chase fast women?”

Me: “I don’t even chase slow ones.”

Doctor: (After finishing taking notes, looked at me and said), “Then why in the heck do you want to live to be 80?”

Keep your fork


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