The Rancher and The City Slicker

Here’s a story my friends back in South Dakota can relate to.

The driver, a young man in a Bryony suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a city slicker, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd. The cowboy thinks it over, it’s a large herd so he accepts the bet, “Sure, why not?”

The city slicker parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get  an exact fix on his location. From there he feeds the data to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

Within seconds he receives an email on his Smart phone that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his phone, and after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP Laserjet printer and finally turns to the farmer and says, “You have exactly 1,423 cows.”

The cowboy is astonished because the city slicker’s figure is correct. He says, “OK, I’m a man of my word, take a calf.” The smug city slicker selects one of the animals and begins to walk away.

“Wait,” yells the cowboy, “Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation.” The city slicker readily agrees.

“You are a Congressman for the U.S. Government,” says the cowboy.

“Good grief!” sputters the city slicker, “You are exactly right. Was that a guess? Tell me, how did you deduce that?”

“Easy, says the cowboy. “No guessing required. You showed up even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a thing about cows. Now, give me back my DOG.”

Keep your fork

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