Canning Cole Slaw

Here in the South it’s common to serve cole slaw on a pulled pork or BBQ sandwich. If you don’t have a fresh cabbage or frozen cole slaw on hand, why not open a jar of canned cole slaw to top your sandwich.

1 large head cabbage, shredded
1 c celery, diced
1/2 c onion, cut up
1 carrot, finely cut
1/2 tsp celery seed
2 c white sugar
1/2 c vinegar
2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp mustard seed

Mix all of the ingredients together. Put in jars. Cold pack for 10 minutes.

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How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity in Retirement

  1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars, and watch them slow down!
  2. On all of your check stubs, write ‘For Marijuana’!
  3. Skip down the street rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
  4. Order a Diet Water wherever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
  5. Sing along at the opera.
  6. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream ‘I Won! I Won!’
  7. When leaving the zoo, start running toward your parked car yelling, ‘Run for your lives! They’re loose!’
  8.  Tell your children over dinner: ‘Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.’
  9. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, then go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.
  10. Go to a large department store’s fitting room, drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out: ‘THERE’S NO PAPER IN HERE!’

Keep your fork

Blackened Snakehead

Snakehead is an invasive species of fish that is spreading across the United States much like the silver carp, but at a slower pace. Snakeheaad has been considered a delicacy in much of Asia for many years and is finally being accepted as a food species in America. Here’s a recipe you can try if you land one.

Blackened Snakehead

1 Tbsp onion powder
1 Tbsp dried thyme
1 Tbsp black pepper
3/4 Tbsp granulated garlic
1 tsp kosher salt
1 tsp cayenne pepper
1 tsp dried oregano
1 tsp dried basil
1/2 tsp paprika
1 snakehead, cut into 4 pieces or both fillets

In a small mixing bowl mix together the first nine ingredients. Using paper toweling, thoroughly dry excess moisture from fish pieces/fillets. Generously coat the fish pieces with the nine spice concoction. Sautee over high heat for three minutes. If not fully cooked, place in a 400 degree oven for 3 to 5 minutes (depends on thickness) to finish baking. Garnish with lemon or parsley and serve with Hollandaise Sauce.

Hollandaise Sauce

3 Tbsp butter
2 egg yolks, beaten
Dash of cayenne
1/4 tsp salt
3 c boiling water
1 Tbsp lemon juice

Using a saucepan, cream the butter and egg yolks. Add the cayenne and salt and mix in the water. Simmer until thick stirring constantly. Remove from heat and stir in the lemon juice.

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Don’t Touch Me

After mowing down at the river pavilion the other day, I took a few minutes break and sat down on the steps that go down to the water. There were three men in a small fishing boat in the center of the river and all of a sudden an angel appeared in the boat with them. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I thought it must be the heat but after clearing the sweat from my eyes, the angel was still in the boat with the men. I sat quietly watching and listening to see what would happen.

After getting over his shock the first man said to the angel, “My hip has been causing me severe pain and causing me to limp for many years. Could you please help me?” As I watched, the angel touched the man’s hip and I could see that he had instant relief.

The second man pointed to his thick glasses and asked the angel, “I’ve such poor eyesight that I can’t even see the face of my newest grandson. Could you please cure my poor eyesight?” The angel took the man’s glasses and tossed them into the river. As the glasses hit the water the man’s sight must have been restored because he yelled out, “Praise the Lord! What a great day it is.”

As the angel turned to the third man, I could see him pull back as he cried out, “Don’t touch me. I’m on disability!”

Keep your fork

Gluten-Containing Foods and Products

In my Gluten-Free post there is a list of gluten-containing foods and ingredients to avoid. Here is a list of other foods and products that may contain gluten.

Bouillon Cubes, Breading and Coating Mixes, Broth, Brown Rice Syrup, Candy, Cereal Products, Communion Wafers, Cosmetics, Cream, Croutons, Flavored Instant Coffee, Flour, Gravies, Herbal Supplements, Hot Dogs, Ice Cream, Imitation Bacon, Imitation Seafood (Surimi), Laxatives, Lotions, Over-the-Counter Medications, Marinades, Mouthwash, Nutritional Supplements, Pastas, Playdough, Prescription Drugs, Processed Deli Meats, Rice and Soy Beverages, Rice Mixes, Rice Paper, Root Beer, Salad Dressing, Sauces, Sausage, Seasoning Mixes, Self-basting poultry, Soup Bases, Soy Sauce, Stuffing/Dressing, Thickeners, toothpaste, Vegetables in Sauce, Vitamin & Mineral Supplements.

Here are a few things to keep in mind concerning gluten-free foods, ingredients and products.

Remember to choose fresh foods and cook from scratch as much as possible.
Always read the label on products.
Don’t eat food where there is no ingredient list or if you are uncertain if it’s gluten-free.
Wheat-free is not necessarily gluten-free.
Avoid cross-contamination from gluten-free foods.

Keep your fork

Fence Building

Good fences in this part of the country seem to be optional. Some land occupants have old, rusty barbed wire tacked to cedar tree posts while others have miles of beautiful 4 board painted wood fences. Here’s a story about fence building in Virginia.

An exotic animal farmer in northern Virginia who provided exotic meat cuts to prestigious eating establishments in the DC area had recently purchased a kangaroo. To keep the animal in an enclosure, the farmer constructed  a special eight-foot-high fence. The next morning, the kangaroo was found hopping around the outside of the pen. The height of the pen was doubled to sixteen feet, but the kangaroo escaped once again. A zebra in the next pen asks the kangaroo, “How high do you think they’ll build the fence?”

“I don’t have the slightest idea,” the kangaroo replies. “Maybe a thousand feet if they keep leaving the gate open.”

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Trash Can Meal

I’ve never had the opportunity to participate in a clam bake, although I’ve seen the fixings on TV many times. The clams, mussels, shrimp, lobster, sausage, corn, potatoes and whatever else the cook could find looks like quite a meal. Then again, we haven’t spent much time in the Louisiana area, hence, the chance to participate hasn’t arisen. We usually spend time each year in the Amish country of Indiana, Ohio or Pennsylvania. They don’t have clam bakes there, that I’m aware of, but they do have the occasional Trash Can meal. I’m going to try it the next time I have to cook for a couple of dozen people. I’ll  finish the meal by serving an Ice Cream Sunday in an eave trough. We’ve done that before and it was a hit. Here’s the makings for the Trash Can meal.

Build a fire under a grate of some kind. Concrete blocks stacked 3 high with a grate on top would work fine. Place the following ingredients in a large trash can in the following order:

3 to 4 dozen ears of sweet corn (cleaned and placed on end)[Enough to cover entire bottom]
1 peck new potatoes, medium sized, scrubbed
3 heads cabbage, quartered
3 pkg carrots, scrubbed
whole turnips or celery, optional
2 lbs green beans, on sheet of aluminum foil
salt and pepper
1 lb bacon, fried crispy and crumbled

Place 2 quarts of hot water into the trash can, cover and place on grate over medium fire. It should be steaming in 30 minutes.

Add smoked sausage about 1 hour before serving. Fresh sausage should be precooked.

Add hot dogs and/or bologna about 45 minutes before serving.

This process usually takes around 3 hours on a medium fire and will serve 20 to 25 people (depending on their appetite).

Feel free to add other veggies and meats as desired.

Keep your fork