How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity in Retirement

  1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars, and watch them slow down!
  2. On all of your check stubs, write ‘For Marijuana’!
  3. Skip down the street rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
  4. Order a Diet Water wherever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
  5. Sing along at the opera.
  6. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream ‘I Won! I Won!’
  7. When leaving the zoo, start running toward your parked car yelling, ‘Run for your lives! They’re loose!’
  8.  Tell your children over dinner: ‘Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.’
  9. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, then go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.
  10. Go to a large department store’s fitting room, drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out: ‘THERE’S NO PAPER IN HERE!’

Keep your fork

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