Doctor’s Questions

Being a diabetic I’ve always been told to take care of my feet as they are the futherest point from the heart, therefore last to receive blood flow. (I wonder if height challenged people are also told this?) I noticed some big blisters between two of my toes the other night and was convinced by my better half to seek professional advice. Somehow I got in to see my own primary care doctor the same day I called. Generally it takes months in advance to get an appointment to see him, but somehow he had a noon appointment open that day. Seeing him and three other doctors on a regular basis, I’ve been asked some questions that had me scratching my head. I think I’ve finally figured out what they mean by some some common questions and observations.

  • When they say, “It could be one of several things,” what they mean is that they don’t have any idea of what it may be.
  • When they say, “Have you had these symptoms before?”, what they mean is you have them again.
  • When they say, “I want to run those tests again,” what they mean is that someone screwed up or lost  the tests the first time.
  • When they say, ” Your insurance or Medicare should take care of this,” what they mean is you are going to have to sell your liver or some other organ to cover the rest of the costs.
  • When they say, “This medicine will have few side effects,” what they mean is don’t get more than five feet from a toilet.
  • When they say,”Tell me what’s wrong one more time,” what they mean is I have no idea of who you are. (Even though you’ve given your name and date of birth to everyone but the maintenance man.)
  • When they say, “This has been going around for some time,” what they mean is we’ll name it when we figure out what it is.
  • When they say, “Try not to damage those toes any worse than they are,” what they mean is we’ll update your Tdap and thanks for helping me make this montns payment on my yahct.

Keep your fork

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