Motorcycles Vs. Women

We stopped at the old clown fast food facility after my doctors appointment yesterday for some coffee and cookies when in walks four couples (husband/wife, man/woman) who have just gotten off four bikes, each pulling a small trailor. Obviously traveling together and stopping to cool down as the temperature hit 100 yesterday.  They reminded me that I’ve always wanted to travel that way. I’ve been after the Pickle Queen for years to let me get a motorcycle and we’d hit the road in the fresh air. If we were in a cartoon, the bubble above her head would read, “Yea, like that will never happen!” I think she remembers the Saturday back  in our college days when we rented a small bike for the afternoon. The front tire probably had half the mileage that the rear tire had at the end of the ride. I assure her that the suspension is better now-a-days, but to no avail. I’ve known many couples that have bikes and some of them really enjoy the companionship of riding together. Other guys have told me that it’s not all peaches and cream. Here are some of the reasons they have given me as to why motorcycles are better than women. Now mind you, I don’t have a bike so I don’t know if they are true or not.

  • Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.
  • Motorcycles’ curves never sag.
  • Motorcycles last longer.
  • Motorcycles don’t get pregnant.
  • You can ride a motorcycle any time of the month.
  • Motorcycles don’t have parents.
  • Motorcycles don’t whine unless something is really wrong.
  • You can kick your motorcycle to wake it up.
  • You can share your motorcycle with your friends.
  • If your motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
  • You only need to get a new chain or belt for your motorcycle when the old one is “really” worn out.
  • If your motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.
  • Motorcycles don’t care about how many other motorcycles you have ridden.
  • When riding, you and your motorcycle arrive at the same time.
  • Motorcycles don’t care about how many other motorcycles you have.
  • Motorcycles don’t care if you look at other motorcycles, or if you buy motorcycle magazines.
  • New motorcycles must be asked for, and if you don’t want to pay for them, you don’t get them.
  • If your motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
  • If your motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
  • If your motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
  • If your motorcycle is “misaligned”, you don’t have to discuss politics to correct it.
  • You can have a beer while riding your motorcycle.
  • You can have a diferent colored motorcycle and show it to your parents.
  • You don’t have to be jealous of the guy who works on your motorcycle.
  • You don’t have to deal with preachers or blood tests to register your motorcycle.
  • You don’t have to convince your motorcycle that you’re a motorcyclist and that you think that motorcycles are equals.
  • If you say bad things to your motorcycle, you don’t have to apologize before you can ride it again.
  • You can ride a motorcycle for as long as you want and it won’t get sore.
  • Your parents don’t mind if you remain in touch with your old motorcycle after you dump it.
  • Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
  • Motorcycles don’t insult you if you are a bad rider.
  • Your motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other motorcycles.
  • Motorcycles don’t care if you are late.
  • You don’t have to take a shower before riding your motorcycle.
  • It’s always ok to use tie downs on your motorcycle.
  • If your motorcycle doesn’t look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
  • You can’t get diseases from a motorcycle you don’t know very well.

Keep your fork

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