The Girl On The Train

The Pickle Queen and I went up to Winchester to see ‘The Girl On The Train’. We’ve seen it advertised on TV for a couple of weeks now, and thought we’d make a date night out of it. We had a light supper at TGIF knowing that we’d have treats at the concession stand (or whatever it’s called now-a-days).

After waiting a short time in line, it was our turn at the ticket counter (see ( ) above). I said, “Two seniors for ‘The Girl On The Train”.

“That’ll be $35.00,” said the attendant.

“$35.00,”  I said rather startled, but evidently in an asking voice.

“If you want to see the movie, it will be $35.00 for the two of you,” she came back at me.

Standing there for a few seconds, running this through my mind, it seemed like an eternity. I had the 60 mile trip to Winchester, the $20.00 supper tab at TGIF, and now she’s wanting me to add another $35.00. Add $7.00 + $20.00 + $35.00. Let’s see, I’ll be out $62.00, I thought.

Knowing that the PQ really wanted to see this movie, I took out my billfold, blew off the dust, took out two twenties and handed them to the attendant. She handed me two tickets and my change. I turned around and gave the PQ her ticket and proceeded to put the five dollar bill in my billfold.

The PQ headed into the theater to save seats as the movie was about to begin. While putting my change away, I accidentally dropped my ticket on the floor. The lady behind me stooped over and picked it up. I turned around and said, “Thank you,” to her.

“Thanks for what?” she replied.

“For picking up my ticket,” I said.

“I didn’t pick up your ticket,” she shot back at me.

“I just bought two tickets,” I said. “I gave my wife one and dropped my ticket on the floor as I was putting my change away.”

Holding the ticket in her hand, she twisted it around while looking at it. “I don’t see your name on it anywhere,” was her reply.

“I just dropped my ticket and you picked it up,” I shot back at her.

“Like I said,” she replied. “I don’t see your name on it.”

I turned to the ticket lady and said, “Please tell this lady that I just bought two tickets to ‘The Girl On The Train”.

“That’ll be $17.50,” she replied.

“$17.50?” I said. “I just bought two tickets!”

“If you want to see the movie, it’ll be $17.50”

Again, in my mind I added, $7.00 for gas + $20.00 + $35.00, and now another $17.50.  I’ll be out $79.50 and the movie probably has already started. Knowing that the PQ is probably wondering what’s keeping me, I shelled out the $17.50 for the ticket.

Luckily the line at the concession stand was short. When it was my turn, I said, “A large buttered popcorn and a large Sprite Zero”.

“That’ll be $19.25,” he said.

“$19.25?” I questioned.

“Yes, $19.25,” he replied. “$10.00 for the popcorn and $9.25 for the soda.”

Let’s see, I thought. $7.00 for the trip up here and that’s conservative, $20.00 for supper, $35.00 for two tickets and $17.50 for the replacement ticket. That’s $79.50 and now he wants $19.25 for popcorn and a soda. That’ll be $98.75. This movie and date night had better be GOOD! After paying for it, I headed into the darkened theater.

Standing in the doorway waiting for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, I was shaking so bad from the screwing I had just taken that popcorn began spilling out of the bucket and soda was slopping over the side of the cup. There goes part of my $19.25 I thought. Spotting the PQ, I slid into the empty seat next to her.

“You won’t believe what just happened to me,” I whispered to her.

She put her finger up to her lips and said, “Shh!”, just like she was talking to her preschoolers.

“But,” I started to say.

Again with the finger and, “Shh!”.

I knew I was beat and decided to wait for an intermission to tell her my plight.

It wasn’t too much later and a lady carrying a shopping bag eased herself into the seat in front of me and put the big shopping bag in the seat next to her.

I started to speak to the PQ again, “That’s the lady….”.

Again with the finger and, “Shh”.

She knows how I hate to be shushed. But, I kept my cool, still hoping for a good movie and date night.

Looking more closely at the lady sitting in front of me, I decided that it was ‘the lady’ who had confiscated my ticket. I tapped her on the shoulder and started to confront her again. She got up , leaving the shopping bag on the seat, and left the darkened theater. I knew in my mind that she was probably going to go talk to the manager and get me tossed out.

I leaned over the back of the seat and grabbed the shopping bag. “What are you doing?” said the Pickle Queen, “that’s not ours!”

I put my finger up to my lips and said, “Shh”.

“That’s not…” the PQ started again.

“Once again I put my finger up to my lips and said, “Shh”. Boy, that felt good.

About that time the lady came back in carrying a popcorn and soda. Looking around, she must have noticed that her shopping bag was not on the seat. After looking on the floor and feeling around the seat for the bag, she craned her next looking back at me.

Seeing that I was holding her bag in my lap, she said, “That’s my shopping bag.” Holding the bag and twisting it around I replied, “I don’t see your name on it anywhere”.

“That’s my bag!” she said rather snippedly.

Again I twisted the bag around and said, “Like I said before, I don’t see your name on it”.

Up she jumps and heads for the door.

Knowing for sure she’s headed for the manager’s office this time, I opened the bag to see what was worth the $17.50 I had to pay for the replacement ticket.


What was in the bag, you may wonder?

BS, just like the rest of this story.


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