Medical Terminology

Being married to a Norwegian has been a real experience. I can make lefsa with the best of them. My krumkake would put a lot of Norwegian bakers to shame. I know the difference between ufda and oy. I know that a fjord is not a make of automobile. But when it comes to Norwegian medical terminology, I have a little to learn yet. Here’s what some of my Norwegian friends think these medical term mean.

Artery – the study of paintings
Barium – what you do when CPR doesn’t work
Coma – a common punctuation mark
Congenital – being friendly
Dilate – to have lived a good and full life
Ebner – a cartoon character from past years
Fester – doing things quicker
GI series – seven baseball games between two teams of army personnel
Herpes – a vegetable grown in your wife’s garden
Intestine – taking an exam indoors
Joint – what you did when you paid your dues to an organization
Lactase – why you add salt to the mashed potatoes
Morbid – what an auctioneer asks for
Nitrate – generally less than the day rate
Node – was aware of the fact
Outpatient – a person who has lost consciousness
Post-operative – a mail person sometimes called a letter carrier
Rectum – the opposite of fixed ’em
Shingles – put on the roof on a building
Urine – what a coach tells a substitute player
Varicose Veins – veins that are near each other
Yoke – what a comedian tells to get a laugh

Keep your fork

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