Fat Guys In The Woods or Naked & Afraid?

As I was flicking through the channels the other night I happened to stop a few minutes on Naked & Afraid. I looked over at the Pickle Queen and commented, “I think I’ll apply to be on this show.”

“Yea, sure,” she countered, “you’d have more of a chance of getting on Fat Guys In The Woods.”

I thought about that comment for a few minutes and decided that I knew that I could last the 5 days on the fat guys show but wasn’t so sure about the 21 days on the naked show. Too many times I’ve seen that the most dangerous time on Naked & Afraid is during the extraction where they generally have to navigate through shark infested waters. In fact, during that very show, they had two sharks swimming around them as they swam toward rescue. I could almost hear the sharks conversation. It went something like this.

As the younger of the two sharks made a bee line toward the naked guy and gal, the bigger shark said, “Hold it a minute Junior, stop where you are and quit licking your lips.” The young shark stopped and swam back toward its father. “First we swim around them with just the tip of our fins showing,” the father shark continued.  And so  they did. “Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing,” the father shark told his son. And they did. “Now we eat both of them!” said the big shark.

“Dad,” says the young shark, “why didn’t we eat them when we first saw them?”

“They’ll taste much better without all the poop inside,” answered the father shark.

Luckily, the guy and gal got on the rescue boat before the sharks got to them.

Keep your fork

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