What ‘Do Not Call List’

Supposedly there is a no call list, yet we get unwanted calls almost every day. There must be a hundred different police organizations around the country and they all want my support. In fact, if I had any more hands wanting in my pocket, I wouldn’t be able to scratch myself. Our former pastor used to read the solicitors the riot act on how they were infringing on his time. One of the guys I taught with would sneak up on the cradle and quietly put the handset back in place. I sometimes give them one ‘Hello’ and then hang up. Most of the time we don’t answer and let them hang up. But, the other evening I wasn’t thinking and here’s what happened.

I had just finished talking to Thelma and Louise, my Aunts, and had gotten up, heading to the kitchen to replace the handset (or what ever the heck it’s called) when mother nature suddenly called. Forget the kitchen, head down the hallway. I was standing in the indoor outhouse ‘seeing a man about a horse’ as my granddad called it when the phone rang. Thinking it may be my Aunts calling back, I answered the phone, “Hello”.

“Good evening, sir, ” a sweet feminine voice replied. This is Josey from WSUP’s Neighbor to Neighbor show.”

“I’m not interested,” I answered. But not having hit the empty mark on the bladder gauge yet I didn’t immediately hang up.

She continued, “If you can answer one simple question you will win this evening’s prize.”

Not wanting to encourage her I said, “Yah sure.” That didn’t dissuade her.

“What did Alexander Graham Bell invent?” she then asked.

“I haven’t got the slightest idea,” I answered.

“What are you holding in your hand right now?” she then asked.

“I’m standing in the privy holding what every girl dreams of,” I answered.

She must have known that was not the right  answer as she came back with, ” Congratulations, for having such a good sense of humor you win 10 free dance lessons.”

They start next week, but we won’t be going as when the PQ asked who was on the phone, I answered, “Wrong number.”

Keep your fork

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