Newt’s Parrot

It was a year ago today, the first day of spring, that this episode happened. Newt has one of those ‘nanny cam’ things in his home because he figured if him and the Mrs. ever had kids and needed a nanny, he wanted to be ready. This is what went down.

It was late at night on the 20th of March when a burglar broke into his house thinking that no one was at home. He stealthily crept through the family room and was stopped dead in his tracks when he heard a loud voice clearly saying, “Jesus is watching you!”

Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. “Jesus is watching you,” the voice can be heard clearly again.

The thief stopped dead once again. You could see that he was frightened out of his wits. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a birdcage containing a parrot.

He asked the parrot, “Was you the one who said, “Jesus is watching you?”

“Yes,” said the parrot.

The burglar breathed a heavy sign of relief and asked the parrot, “What’s your name?”

“Ronald,” you can hear the parrot answer.

“That’s a stupid name for a parrot,” sneered the burglar. “What idiot named you Ronald?”

The parrot answered, “The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus.”

Keep your fork


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