Massanutten Bacon Candle

A recent news headline read something like this,’PETA Asked Why Anyone Would Ever Eat Bacon.’ A few politicians jumped into the fray, but I won’t join them. I think they may have a twitter account and are willing to go off half cocked like some of our ‘leaders’ do now-a-days! So, if you don’t care to eat the bacon, just save the fat and throw the bacon away.

Let me set the picture for the guys who are reading this. It’s your anniversary and you are making a special romantic meal for your wife. You get the meatloaf in the oven along with the baked potatoes wrapped in tinfoil, and go to set the table. Oh, No! You don’t have a candle for the center piece. No worry.

Everyone has or should have a jar in the kitchen cupboard where you pour and keep your excess bacon grease just like your mother did. I am one of those people who can’t bear to throw away perfectly good bacon grease. Someday you’ll need some and you may not have any! That day is today. Taking the jar out of the cupboard you notice that there isn’t any wick in your ‘candle.’ Again, no worry. Knowing that all you need is a piece of natural fiber for a wick, you decide that you have two choices. You could tear a shred off your T-shirt or cut a strand from the mop hanging in the closet. Knowing that you’d be in big trouble if you tore up a T-shirt, you opt for the mop strand. You grab a chop stick ( or any thin forked stick) and jam your mop strand (wick) into the jar. Be sure to rub the top end of the wick with a little of the grease to make lighting it a little easier.

No bacon grease? Once again, no problem. Take a package or two of bacon from the ice box or freezer. Tear off the fatty pieces and pack the pieces into a jar. Go back one paragraph to see how to solve your lack of a wick problem. Now, not wanting to waste the meat portion of the bacon slices, you take the meat loaf from the oven and poke the meat pieces down into the loaf. My Dad always said,  “Everything tastes better with bacon. Even a dog turd.” How he knew, I don’t know! I do know that the smell of bacon is almost as good as the taste of bacon.

If you are a gal reading this, skip the anniversary scenario. If you need an emergency candle because of a storm or for what ever reason, these two processes will work for that also. The Massanutten Bacon Candle will burn for a comparable time of a regular wax candle of the same size. It just won’t have the girly smell.

Keep your fork

 

 

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