Having been around mothers most of my life, first my birth mother and then the Pickle Queen, I’ve noticed that you know you’re a mother when you’re up each night until at least 10:00 p.m., vacuuming, dusting, wiping, washing, drying, loading, unloading, shopping, cooking, doing the dishes, driving, flushing, ironing, sweeping, picking up, changing sheets, changing diapers, bathing, helping with homework, paying bills, answering the phone, checking e-mails, budgeting, clipping coupons, folding clothes, putting to bed, dragging out of bed, brushing, chasing, buckling, feeding, taking lunch to the field, swinging, playing ball, bike riding, pushing trucks, cuddling dolls, in-line skating, catching, blowing bubbles, wrapping gifts, hosting doings, running through sprinklers, sliding, taking walks, teaching Sunday school, being 4-H leader, coloring, crafting, jumping rope, gathering eggs as well as doing other farm chores, butchering chickens and other animals, planning family trips, raking, trimming, planting, edging, mowing, gardening, caring for house plants, putting fruits and vegetables up, painting, cutting wood, splitting wood, carrying fire wood into the house, stoking the stove, emptying the ashes, cleaning the stove pipes, bandaging scrapes and boo-boos, and walking and feeding the dog. I’m sure the list goes on and on. You get up at 5:30 a.m., and have no time to eat, sleep, drink, or go to the bathroom, and yet, you still manage to gain ten pounds. How do they do it?
Keep your fork