Trailer Park Retirement

Luray is the host city to Cooter’s Last Stand this weekend. Ben Jones (Cooter) has his ‘Cooter’s In The Valley’ establishment (museum, restaurant, gift shop) just west of town and is hosting Cooter’s Last Stand Saturday and Sunday. They decided to get the whole Dukes Of Hazzard cast together one last time before more of them buy the farm, so to speak. There is supposed to be at least 20,000 in attendance with nearly 200 General Lees in addition to about 100 other Hazzard County cars. Although not many young people today know about the Dukes, we ‘Older’, retired individuals can remember them as if they were on TV yesterday. This realization of being not young reminds me of this story.

After spring break, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation. One youngster offered the following: “We always used to spend the time with Grandpa and Grandma.

They used to live in a nice big brick house. But, Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Floriduh. Now they live in a place with lots of other Grandmas and Grandpas. They live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass.

They ride around in huge tricycles and wear nametags because they don’t know who they are anymore. They go to a big building called the wrecked center. They must have fixed it because it looks pretty good now.

They play games and do exercises there, but they don’t do them very well. There is a swimming pool, too, but they all jump up and down in it with their hats on. I guess they don’t know how to swim. At the gate, there is a dollhouse with a little old man who sits in it.

He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes though, they do manage to sneak out. Then they go cruising in their golf carts.

Grandma used to bake cookies and other neat things,but I guess she forgot how. Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And they eat the same thing every night, “Early Bird,” whatever that is. Some of the people can’t get past the old man in the dollhouse. So the ones that escape bring food back to the wrecked center and call it potluck.

My Grandma says Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says that I should work hard so I can also be retarded someday too. When I earn my retardment, I want to be the old man in the dollhouse. Then I’ll let people out so they can visit their grandchildren.”

Keep your fork

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