Old Age Comes Too Fast

Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realize that, at my age, I don’t really give a rat’s ass anymore. Now that I’m older, here’s what I’ve discovered:

  • I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
  • My wild oats are mainly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
  • Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
  • Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
  • If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
  • It was a whole lot easier to get older, than it was to get wiser.
  • Some days, you’re the top dog, some days you’re the hydrant.
  • I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.
  • Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
  • Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
  • It is hard to  make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
  • The world only beats a path to your door when you’re in the bathroom.
  • If God wanted me touch my toes, he’d have put them on my knees.
  • When I’m finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.
  • When I have all the answers, they change the questions.
  • It is not hard to meet expenses… They’re everywhere.
  • The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
  • These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I’m here after.
  • Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
  • It’s a lot better to be seen than viewed. (Think about it)
  • It was a whole lot easier to get out of  bed than it was to get laid.
  • Have I posted this before… or did I get this list from you?

Keep your fork

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