More Ways to Annoy People

Back in February of ’16 my post was on ways to annoy people. My preamble to the short list of ways is still valid. Some people still annoy me, so I’ve decided to come up with more ways to be just as annoying. If you can’t beat them, join them.

  • Sniffle incessantly.
  • Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your “astronaut training”.
  • Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener that it was a “real hoot”.
  • Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with the prophesy”.
  • Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
  • Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
  • Honk and wave to strangers.
  • Change the TV channel 5 minutes before the end of every show.
  • ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
  • only type in lower case.
  • don’t use any punctuation either
  • Pay for your meal with pennies.
  • Demand that everyone addresses you as “Conquistador.”
  • Drive half a block.
  • Chew on pens that you have borrowed.
  • Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your “imaginary friend.”
  • Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
  • Set alarms for random times.
  • Buy a large quantity of traffic cones and reroute an entire street.
  • Lick the filling out of all the Oreos and place the cookies parts back together.

Keep your fork

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